For the past 7 years I have dreamed of a future with you. Many times I thought I was completely over you, but I would always find myself running back to you when things didn’t work out with the other guys I have liked. I kept hoping that you would eventually ask me out, and then we would start dating and live happily ever after together.

I thought I was completely over you, but now I am 100% sure that my dream with you has ended. I used to pray that God would make it extremely clear that I was supposed to move on, and he did make it extremely obvious that our fairytale was over. I actually had peace and relief from realizing that our future together wouldn’t happen.

You taught me a lot from our sort of relationship, and I want to thank you for what you have taught me. You taught me that I need to love myself enough to walk away. You taught me that love at first sight can happen in real life. You taught me that as much as I tried I could never force a relationship with you.

I don’t know the reason why it never worked out between us. I don’t know what I did for everything to change. Which is probably for the better for me. I don’t know why I wasn’t good enough for you, and I think I would hurt even more to know the reason why you didn’t see a future with me.

Would I wish that I never cared about you with now knowing how much you would hurt me? Honestly, I would rather have loved and lost it all than never have had all the good memories. So I am going to try to put the bad memories in the past and not dwell upon them. I’m going to try to remember you for all the fun times we have shared over the years. You used to be my best friend that was a guy, and I want to remember you for that. You’re now a guy I used to be good friends with though.

The one reason I am the most thankful for is that you challenged
me to be better. I’ve realized that I could live without you and still be independent and accomplished. I’m a stronger and more successful person now than I was when we were friends. I want the best for you. Though if I am being honest I hope one day I see you again and I can tell you how great I am doing in life. I don’t want you back, but I hope one day you’ll realize how much you lost by pushing me away.

Because of you I realized that my initial fairytale relationship won’t come true, but I am hoping and praying for my fairytale relationship to be with someone who treats me better than you did.

 

Scripture Reference

• “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.” ~1 Corinthians 13:4-8 NIV
• “Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD.” ~Psalm 27:14 NIV
• “Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good.¹⁰ Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves”~ Roman 12:9-10 NIV

I would Love to hear from you!

Feel free to Comment below, or email me at:  matthew712girl@gmail.com

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Approaching graduation has been a difficult time for me, because for the past 16 years I have been in school. Now I have the choice to continue school or do something else. This can be especially difficult for people who love planning and organizing like me. Not knowing what my plans are for the future has been very stressful for me. I have spent countless hours thinking and researching what I can do once I graduate.

In high school God made it very clear that I was meant to go into full-time ministry. I didn’t know at the time what that would look like. I was an intern in the youth ministry at my church the summer after my junior year of high school, and it was during and shortly after this internship that I realized that I truly enjoyed ministry.

I’m not sure when it was in high school, but God at some point gave me an idea of how to share the gospel to other people. I knew that one day I would do this idea. It has been just recently that I have thought about actually proceding with this idea sometime soon. God doesn’t want us to live in “One Day Land”. If God has called me to do this, then I should be obedient and do it. I need to stop making excuses as to why I shouldn’t or can’t do it.

If God has called you to do something specific in your life, then you should be taking the steps to make that a reality. God wouldn’t give you the idea if He didn’t think you could do it, and you can be confident that God will help you every step along the way. There should be nothing stopping you. You already have the biggest fan and advocate you can to help you through what He has called you to do.

Tonight I was reading the book of Haggai. I learned that I need to be focusing on God’s kingdom more. In the book the people were focused on building their own houses, and because they were completely absorbed with building their own house they ignored working on God’s house. I realized that I have been guilty of this. I have been so focused on myself and what I am supposed to do that I haven’t been working on what is best for His kingdom. I have been ignoring what God has been calling me to do for years. I realized that I don’t want to live this way, and I’m going to do what I can to be obedient to what God has called me to.

Scripture References:

• “Then Haggai, the Lord’s messenger, gave this message of the Lord to the people: “I am with you,” declares the Lord” ~Haggai 1:13 NIV
• “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
  I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand” ~Isaiah 41:10 NIV
• “You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit—fruit that will last—and so that whatever you ask in my name the Father will give you.” ~ John 15:16 NIV
• “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” ~Romans 8:28

I would Love to hear from you!

Feel free to Comment below, or email me at:  matthew712girl@gmail.com

Want to know when a new blog is posted? Email me at: matthew712girl@gmail.com, or if you have a WordPress account, follow!

Lastly, feel free to Share on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram! Use the hashtag: #matthew712girl to let me know you are viewing it!