Dec20

Maximizing Singleness

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I’m at the stage of life where many people my age are finding out who they want to spend the rest of their life with. Constantly I am seeing social media posts of other people getting engaged, married, or having a child. It’s hard to fathom this due to the fact I am nowhere close to this season of my life. Also, I realized that I am the age my dad was when he met my mom. I’m also quickly approaching the age of how old he was when he married my mom.

I think it’s easy to wish to be in a different stage of life than you are right now. For example I think a good percentage of people that are in school want to be in the next level of school or be done with school. Though the God who has created us has designed each season we’re in for a reason. He knows what our future holds, and I know that he doesn’t waste a single second of our lives.

I am going to admit that during this year I have watched a few sermons online about relationships and love. Some were specifically about being single. I learned a few things from these sermons.

One thing that was mentioned in every sermon I watched was that when we are single we have more time to spend on things for God. Once you’re married and/or have kids your family is your top priority. So we should be spending our time doing things that can further His kingdom. Also, as a single person we don’t have to check with anyone about doing something. We can just do it what we specifically want.

Another idea I learned from these messages is that we need to have our relationship with Christ correct before we get into a relationship. This is something that I could work on doing better. I’m not saying that I don’t have a relationship with Christ or I’m not doing the things that God would want me to do. I just know that there are a few areas that I could grow in.

One area I could grow in is praying for others more. I have noticed that most of my prayers are self-centered, and I don’t pray for others as much as I could. Another area I could grow is setting aside time to read the Bible daily. I read the Bible at least for a little while most days, but I’ll also go for periods of time where I don’t dig deep in studying God word. Lastly, I want to grow in memorizing scripture. I’m a LifeGroup leader for a college bible study for women. The past couple months my coach and I have been holding each other accountable to memorize scripture. We have finished memorizing 13 verses so far. One of our goals is to have a whole chapter of the Bible memorized.

I want to see this season of singleness as a gift. I don’t want to spend most of my time doing things that don’t matter eternally. God can use us in incredible ways if we allow Him to, and I am expectant that God is going to use me to further his kingdom.

Scripture References:

  • “I wish that all were as I myself am. But each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another” ~1 Corinthians 7:7 ESV
  • “This Book of the Law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do according to all that is written in it. For then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have good success” ~Joshua 1:8 ESV
  • “Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God” ~Colossians 3:16 ESV

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Maximizing Singlesness

 

4 responses »

  2. Does singleness leave you with more “time for God”? Well, sure, But I wouldn’t over-generalize about that. I don’t even think this was the point Paul made in 1 Corinthians 7.

    Consider 1 Corinthians 7:32-35. Paul basically says that an unmarried person is devoted to the Lord and not distracted by the needs of his spouse. This is then interpreted by some to mean that a person can do “more ministry” as a single. I don’t think that’s what Paul says here. I mean, if that’s the case, why are all the pastors and church elders typically married? Did they make a mistake? Is marriage getting in the way of their ministry? What Paul says here, I believe, is that if you aren’t distracted by the desire for marriage, then maybe you have the gift of singleness.

    And, of course, in English, “distracting” has a negative connotation. So we often bring that into play when talking about this passage. But it seems more like Paul was merely acknowledging the simple fact that marriage divides your attention in a way that the single life, generally, does not.

    If Paul wrote the book of Hebrews, then he also affirmed that marriage is a good thing, and condemned people who forbade marriage.

    “Once you’re married and/or have kids your family is your top priority.” Well, no, serving God is still the priority.

    But, yes, it’s certainly true that we need a solid relationship with Christ before entering a relationship. Single you will be the married you. We want to “run the race,” as Christian say, alongside a partner, not with them dragging us around behind them.

    Still, I think we can sometimes put ourselves under pressure to become a Super-Duper Christian in order to become marriage material. But neither you nor your partner will ever be perfect here on Earth.

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    • Hi James, I apologize for the great delay in my response to your comment. I completely agree with what you’re saying. I think this topic is a great debate among Christians, and I think there are many different perspectives on the topic. This particular blog post is one of my older posts, but as someone who is in my 30s and still single my perspective has changed since writing this. I’m open to hearing more about your opinions on my different blog posts.

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