Looking in All the Wrong Places


**DISCLAIMER: I wrote this post in August, but with the new semester starting I thought it could still be relevant.

I’ll be honest the first week of the school was a hard week for me. It was also the first full week that my fellow college students had returned. I live in the same town as my university, and I was in that town for the most of my summer. I kept looking forward to the return of my friends and I was thinking when they return my social life would take off. Well that didn’t necessarily happen. I was hoping people would be contacting me to hangout or do things with, and when that didn’t happen I started to get real saddened by the situation. I’ve learned a few things from this situation.

First, I realized that friendships are not going to be handed to you. That friendships take work, and if you want to do something don’t assume that they will read your mind and invite you to do things. I’m sure everyone has people in their lives that they wish they could spend more time with. Focus on these relationships, because obviously you value their friendship. Don’t be afraid to ask someone to do something. If you ask someone to do something and they don’t seem interested in spending time with you, then they aren’t the friends you want to have.

Second, take the time to find ways to make friends. If you are feeling lonely then I am pretty sure that there is someone else that is feeling the exact same way. I have noticed that some of my best friendships have come from people that were looking for friends as well. There are also ways that can set you up for making friends. Join activities where you’ll be meeting new people. Or talk to the people in your classes. Really you can find a friend anywhere if you are actively looking for opportunities to make friends.

Third, I realized that your happiness shouldn’t be dependent on other people. I’m extraverted by nature, so I have a hard time being alone for a long time. Instead your happiness should be dependent on God. That when things are going right with him, then everything else will fall into place. Some wise person (AKA my mother) told me, “Who besides yourself can fix your friendship situation? The only one that can bring you friendships is God”. Then she asked me if I have ever thought of praying for friendships. I hadn’t really thought of that before.

I guess sometimes I get so focused on the situations around me that I forget the one who is control of these situations. It’s easy to get bogged down on what is happening in your life that you lose focus on the power of God. If you are struggling with friendship than keep working at it. And really it’s better to have a few close friends than 50 lukewarm friendships. So focus on building these friendships. The things that are worth it are going to take time and effort.

Scripture References:

  • “But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.” ~Matthew 6:33 ESV
  • “Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth” ~Colossians 3:2 ESV
  • “Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil” ~Ecclesiastes 4:9 ESV

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“But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.” ~Matthew 6_33.png


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